Because of Jar of Marmite
by Permanent Rose
Summary: Turns out saving that marmite paid off. Rizzles.


"Marmite?" Jane lifted the jar out from between the folds of tissue paper. _What the hell was marmite? _Leave it to Maura to bring her a weird ass hostess gift. Leave it to Maura to bring her a hostess gift at all.

Jane had only started working with Maura a few weeks ago now, but a friendship had progressed naturally, even in such a short span of time. So Jane had invited Maura over for dinner and a movie, because that's what friends did, right? Jane hadn't really maintained very many of her friendships as she delved into the busyness of her adult life. And a girl friend was even more so uncharted territory. She had no idea if she was approaching this whole thing right.

But Maura seemed happy enough. She hadn't stopped smiling since she had entered Jane's apartment. Though she frowned in slight confusion, as Jane seemed wary of her gift. "It's a dark brown savory spread made from the yeast. Have you never had it before?"

"Um… can't say I have," Jane turned the jar over in her grasp a few times, wrinkling her nose. "But thanks. I'll be sure to try it soon. It looks great." Her tone was skeptic.

"There's a box of water crackers in the bag as well. I wasn't sure what kind of snack you'd be providing, so I didn't want to bring something you already had," Maura explained her reasoning.

"Nope. Definitely don't have marmite and crackers," she laughed a bit nervously.

She was glad when the doorbell rang, breaking the tension. "Pizza's here."

Jane reminded herself to breathe. Why was she suddenly so feeling so self-conscious? And why was this suddenly starting to feel like a first date?

XXX

"Ma, stop cleaning," Jane groaned as she stepped into the kitchen, watching her mother shuffle through her cluttered countertops. "This is exactly the reason I don't invite you over more often."

"I don't understand how you're supposed to take care of a house and family someday if this is how you live," Angela huffed, tossing half eaten box of stale Cheerios into the trash.

"Okay, you can leave now. Bye." Jane pointed toward the door.

Angela scowled. "Honestly, Jane, I'm doing you a favor here. If Donnie comes up here tonight, I don't want him thinking you're lazy and don't know how to upkeep a home."

"I told you, Ma, I'm only going on this date because Mrs. Dellantonio is too freaking cute and nice, and I felt like an asshole saying no to a set-up with her son. This date will go nothing beyond awkward conversing over dinner," she stated firmly.

Angela rolled her eyes dramatically. Jane was sure she was going to get a mouthful, but Angela became distracted as she pulled out a small jar from behind the coffee maker. "Marmite? I didn't know you ate that…oh, well, apparently you don't," she amended. "It expired almost three years ago."

"Give me that," Jane quickly secured the marmite jar in her own grasp, feeling strangely possessive of unopened condiment. "Maura gave that to me. I feel rude throwing it away."

"I think it's considerably ruder to still have it several years later, unopened." Angela countered.

Jane glowered. "I'm going for a run now." She placed the marmite up in the cabinet above her stove. "You'd better be gone by the time I get back. And don't you dare touch my marmite."

XXX

"Oh, and before I go," Casey spoke suddenly, stepping back into the kitchen. The cabinet creaked lightly on its hinges as Casey opened it, reaching for the small jar of marmite.

Jane chewed on her lip, a knot clenching in her stomach as he tossed it thoughtlessly into the trash bin underneath the sink. He reached into his pocket, producing an identical jar with a new, shiny label. "I promised you a new one after all."

Jane forced a smile. She brought her hand up to her hair, nervously twisting a curl around her finger. He placed the jar on the countertop, stepping in to close the distance between them. "I'll be back before you know it," he breathed.

Jane was stiff as he dipped in to kiss her, her throat uncomfortably tight as he pulled away. "I'll miss you." The words tasted dry on her lips.

She saw him to the door, feeling guilty as relief flooded her. She ran a hand through her messy ponytail, frustrated with herself as she reentered the kitchen. She picked up the new jar of marmite, trying to smile. It was a sweet gesture, and she wished she could appreciate their inside joke, but instead, she only felt annoyed.

It was only seconds before she was fishing around in the trashcan, soon rescuing Maura's marmite. She rubbed the edge of the lid with the pad of her thumb, almost tenderly, before returning it to its spot above the stove.

XXX

"Your phone's been going off quite frequently tonight." Maura noticed as Jane silenced her phone for the umpteenth time, looking as though she were about ready to hurl it across the room. "I'm perfectly fine pausing the movie if you'd like to take it."

"Nah, it's fine," Jane waved her off, averting her eyes back up to the television, though she wasn't even sure what was going on. Or what movie they were even watching.

Maura didn't seem overly engaged either. "Do you mind me asking who it is?" Maura's attention had strayed from the screen, her eyes curiously darting toward Jane's phone, which was flashing again.

Jane pursed her lips. Maura raised an eyebrow.

"Fine. It's Casey." Her voice came out in an irritated huff.

"Casey's back?" Maura's shock was genuine.

"Yeah, just got back tonight actually…" Jane trailed off, chewing anxiously on her lip.

Maura looked uncomfortable. Or maybe guilty. Or perhaps just some unreadable expression in between the two. Her voice was an octave higher as she spoke. "You could have canceled our movie night, Jane. I wouldn't have minded."

"No, no!" Jane quickly assuaged her. "It's just…I'm not really in the mood to see him."

"I thought you'd be eager to resume where you left off," Maura spoke carefully, glancing at Jane quickly.

Jane licked her lips, taking in a breath before she spoke. "Well, we've barely kept in consistent contact these past few months. We suck at all this long distance shit – and when he comes back, I always tell myself it's going to be different this time, that things are gonna fall into place. That I'm gonna stop feeling nervous and uneasy around him. That he's going to stay around long enough for something to actually work out. But he never does, Maura. He never does, and it never feels right. And I'm just so sick and tired of trying to resurrect an old high school fling that burned out years ago…"

Maura didn't speak, another unreadable expression on her face as she mulled over the words. "I had no idea you'd been feeling this way…"

"I didn't really think about it too much," Jane admitted. "I mean, he's such an inconsistent part of my life that I didn't really have much of a reason to. And now that he's back, I'm kind of dreading playing this whole game again. It's exhausting."

"That's understandable," Maura assured her, placing a hand gently against her knee. Jane nearly flinched, the simple contact giving her raging butterflies. "You shouldn't feel pressured to enter into any kind of relationship with him, just because you feel as though it's expected of you."

Jane nodded appreciatively, glad when Maura left her hand resting lightly against her leg. They were silent for a moment, both attempting to focus on the movie once again, though their efforts were in vain.

"I'm going to pour myself a glass of water. Would you like one?" Maura cleared her throat, rising from the couch.

"Nah, I'm good," Jane spoke, though turned her neck, calling into the kitchen after a moment. "Pretty sure all my plastic cups are dirty. There should be some glasses in the cabinet over the stove."

She heard the familiar creak of the cabinet door. "I don't see any glasses. Just a jar of…" she paused for a moment, reaching for the it, "marmite?"

_Shit. _Jane rose from the couch abruptly, feeling a little panicked. She stood awkwardly by the doorway, watching Maura examine the jar.

"It expired almost five years ago now," Maura noted.

Jane held her breath, not sure if she should start explaining, attempting to save herself some embarrassment.

"Uh, yeah. I'm not so good at cleaning out my cabinets regularly." She was glad the lights were dimmed, making it difficult to see the color rising to her cheeks.

"I bought you marmite five years ago."

There it was. Jane closed her eyes, feeling queasy for a moment.

Some more silence, and then, "You should probably throw this away. It's hardly safe to consume any longer, despite it's unopened state," Maura analyzed.

Jane opened her eyes, watching Maura for a moment. She could easily let her toss the jar, brushing off her strange need to hoard this particular item without a comment from Maura, but as Maura stepped toward the trashcan, Jane's voice betrayed her.

"Don't."

Maura looked at her curiously.

"I've rescued that jar too many times to see it tossed on a whim," Jane knew she sounded crazy, but she was not ready to let her marmite go.

"You've been saving this?" She didn't look startled; instead, she looked almost honored.

"Yeah, sort of," Jane sucked on her lower lip, finding Maura's eyes. "It reminds me of you. I meant to eat it at first, but then I looked it up online and kind of got grossed out," she laughed a little. "But even then, I couldn't make myself toss it. It's got memories attached to it. You gave it to me the first time you ever came over to visit." She probably sounded certifiably crazy now.

"After all these years you intentionally saved it?" Maura clarified, looking fondly back down at the jar.

"Yeah," Jane shrugged. "Kind of crazy. Guess I'm more weirdly sentimental than I thought."

Jane hadn't been aware that they had been closing the distance between them, until she was close enough to see the jar, looking down at the date as Maura fingered it. Maura turned her head, her face only centimeters from Jane's now. She blinked coyly, before leaning in to kiss the corner of Jane's mouth. "I don't think it's crazy," she finally spoke. "I actually find it quite sweet."

Jane had stopped breathing again.

When she had gathered her thoughts, she hesitantly broke the silence. "If a jar of marmite gets me a kiss, I should show you all the other things I've been hoarding. Then I might get real lucky tonight." Jane managed a laugh, though her heart was still pounding furiously.

"You hoard other items of mine?" Maura cocked her head curiously, not quite as appalled as she should have been for taking Jane's comment seriously.

"Sarcasm," Jane reminded her, feeling brave as she swooped in for another kiss. Maura melted against her lips, letting a contented sigh wash over Jane's face.

Jane trailed her hand down Maura's arm, reaching to entwine her fingers with hers, but she found Maura's hand still clasped around the marmite.


End file.
